I was just getting Paulina ready for her first day in school tomorrow. She is doing an Animal Care course and I am very proud of her. Gathering the necessary stuff I came across an old notebook where I found some of my writing from exactly 4 years ago and I wanted to share and see If my way of writing is changing over time.
A writer is what I wish to become. Unprepared on the path of ink I walk. Unaware of struggles and downfalls, for which I do not care as it is for me and not you. If I am destined to be bad then let it be. I am writing not for the reader but for the joy and most of all to set my soul free and be at ease. For which I can not speak about what poisons my mind and soul as the combination to such abilities has been taken away from me long time ago. Therefore I allow my soul to take over and guide the hand holding the pen, and let out this black river of words onto the paper. The only way I know how to truly express myself.
As soon as the ink connects with the paper another side of me wakes up. The one which was suppressed and silenced for too long. Now it is time to say what it was not allowed, to express its feelings, sorrows and emotions. This other side of me which I cherish yet don’t know how to connect with it any other way but to write. The ridiculous and the sublime. The ridiculous is how long I struggle to reach it, the sublime what it has to say. The person inside of me locked away at whom I may only look at as if behind metal bars. All alone, he sits there gathering his thoughts waiting for the moment in which he can convert therm into ink. When he takes over control his passion to express himself is too powerful for my body to stop. The stranger inside me shares his stories with me and I share mine with him. The only one who does not judge or comments when tears fall onto the pages. He shows support for he lived through the same. Soon enough I will unlock his cage set him free to let him be me and me be him for we are one and contaminate the mind of others with our ink if it will be destined. If not then we will forge our own destiny and walk our own path so he may share his story with you.