Sometimes I feel disconnected from the world, or I should say sometimes I feel like I come in contact with humanity just in time to extinguish that feeling with the connection. Do you ever feel like your own soul is trying to suffocate you?
Out of place out of time I don’t know what the trends are, social media annoys me and today’s music makes me want to throw up just like the current stereotypes and fake personalities. Am I protecting myself from the bullshit of this world? maybe but at what cost? The one person I love is always here with me, everyone I care about is either hundred or thousands of miles away. My social skills are degrading and isolation creeps in steadily. Some friends I know I can always rely on no mater when we talked last others contact me only when they need something that’s if they remember I exist of course.
Sometimes I wonder why do I even have Facebook, on it I currently have 210 friends. Nice joke, the truth is I have 1 best friend , the few friends I occasionally talk to I can count on my fingers and the rest is acquaintances I have no contact with. Maybe I should meet new people but last few I mate ware so fake I don’t feel like meeting anyone.
Why am I writing about this? I don’t know , my friends won’t read it most people probably closed the page at this point. I guess I write it so my computer gets a better sense of whom taps away constantly at its keyboard or maybe because my head is blank lately for ideas for the blog. Last two weeks I am trying to build a skeleton for a book I will write but it’s a hard and scary process with huge amount of work especially with my creativity on the floor at the moment.
Maybe it’s time to call my friend loneliness again, she is always happy to keep me company.