Torn

Tearing, like pages of a notebook filled with secrets not meant for eyes of others.

Audible scream of pages rending the soul, it’s blood imperceptible to the human eye, to your eye.

Hands covered in scarlet ink, miasm of a downfall.

Staining the surroundings evermore to a point where only your private world is filled with clues.

Invisibly visible dystopia triggered by every contention.

A touch of ice no longer grabs attention, indifference masking the eyes of emotion.

Seeking happiness in fleeting moments is indeed fleeting when quicksands take their time.

So let’s grab some tape and restore the broken poems of happiness into one book again.

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All that the heart can give.

This is from a Polish song by one of my favourite artists I wanted to share with you, but can’t translate it word for word so that it will make sense to you. This is his story done my way.

A bunch of friends decided to travel to the Baltic Sea in search of some fun. As standard, they had few pre-drinks on a bench they were tagging, deciding where to go. Few broken bottles and a pill later they found this party on a beach, wooden hut, loud music and strobe lights, DJ shaking up the walls with some RnB from the radio. The place was jammed but they went in any way.

Once there everyone went their own way, some of them went to the dance floor the rest to the bar, our main hero liked being alone while observing strangers and sipping Jack D. Unfortunately the drink didn’t seem to help him with building up the courage to talk to some girls. Yet then an odd thing happened, a girl stopped right in front of him giving him a warm smile, her very large eyes combined with the hair made her look like one of the anime characters he likes. His heart fluttered and he felt as if an electric wire touched his very spine, pain discomfort and pleasure all mixed together, it sure made the sparks fly. Stunned by her looks he wondered if this is what love feels like but before any of them said a word the girl was gone, standing at the exit door of this party. With one finger she indicated him to follow, he looked around to make sure she means him and not someone else. He finished his shot of liquid courage and started to squeeze through the crowd passing his friends who didn’t even notice him, puffing up like peacocks to other girls. He saw her standing on the beach, her smile melted his heart while her gaze looked straight into it. Then she turned around and jogged away giggling playfully. Our hero shot out after her like cupids arrow passing few couples who looked like they are in a french kissing contest, after all, it was middle of summer and the full moon was out.

They were running like that for a while now, he shouted few times for her to stop but she ignored him and kept gliding effortlessly over the sand. By now the sand was getting wetter until he felt the edge of the water at his feet. He noticed her figure is slim and fit and almost tripped and fell when he ran by a thrown off t-shirt then shorts, bra and panties. The excitement with adrenalin and drugs had his heart racing, the guys will never believe him that some random chick just threw off her clothes for him he thought. He heard her laughter from the water and a soft voice saying “come to me” he didn’t consider if it’s smart or not and started stripping leaving his phone and wallet on the beach alcohol and extasy dulled his awareness of these cold dangerous waters.

He started swimming in the direction where he heard her last, calling for her he shuttered when he grabbed a wig of hair floating. “Is this a joke?” he asked after hearing giggling behind him, there she was, head above water laughing and dived again in a wave.

Then he suddenly screamed from the pain as something sliced his skin at the back of the knees. He flailed his arms trying to stay above water, scared to think what could have sliced his legs he watched the party bathed in the moonlight. Profanity flowed from him like his blood and stopped short when she emerged right in front of him. Milky grey skin with lack of ears and eyes on the side of the head triggered the primal fear he never felt before. In vain he tried to throw punches, she just flashed a menacing row of sharp teeth which he found out are razor sharp. With one quick bite, he lost 3 fingers after the last punch. She bit him by the ankle and pulled far from the shore. Then a sound pierced his ears, a hope-shattering ethereal keen like he never heard before followed by a sickening scene. Like a swarm of eels, children welcomed their mother slithering around in the growing pool of blood. The little ones loved playing with food taking tiny bites, screaming in pain he begged them to stop while they kept tearing muscles like a bull terrier a tire. Every now and then the mother grabbed him to keep him from drowning when they were getting to the bones.

It was the first and last time he felt such a cold when they sliced open his stomach, and before the freezing waters took him, in the glow of the moon, to his foolish love his heart gave out all that it could give.

The Lost Soul (Part 8) – Grand Father & The Mystery

The story finally continues

Exploredunexplore

Before reading the below part don’t forget to read the previous one;

Parts 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 –

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Grand Father POV

Its been thirteen years when I lost my family not by any mistake, but by the decision I took, the decision to show these creatures their limits. They have to stop invading our planet. This is not the right way to protect their planet. They have the fight with Amruthbhujangams not with us, they are just using us as a weapon to protect themselves from them.

After my last meeting with these creatures, frankly speaking they are ruthless creatures. So from last meeting I came to know about that the King of Amruthbhujanga Planet is here to solve the mystery of how every time they get defeated. And according to my observation he has found someone from my planet.

Last…

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Tabula Rasa

Night, I hear the calling again, how long can I ignore it? maybe this will be the last time I burn. A constant battle inside me between my brain, heart and my soul. Locked in this small cage they all want to get away forever. The silence whispers its song while the moon cries with rain, the stars stare in eerie silence. What can I do take away the pain that leaves a stain on the mane of my confidence. Night, I want to write but the secrets suffocate my heart, night, rhythmic breathing invites me to a dance with instruments of hell which I want to extinguish. Shadows dance around the room when the clock strikes midnight, desire begs for help while guilt inflicts constant wounds.

Grasping for resolve I will paint a picture without a brush. Stating I don’t want a world without feelings, with personal opinions being choked down before they are born and songs of rebellion drowned in a glass of bitterness and disappointment. Nor I want to feel like young Werther ever again or this will be my end.

Staring in the mirror, behind the glass I see myself move independently of my actions studying my image. With a tight fist I break the walls of our anguish and reach out to pull the other me into this world. We hug like long separated twins and sit down in a dark room talking without words. Painting our nightmares on the canvas of fear then setting fire to it providing a glow of courage. Asking the night to cloak us in its darkness from the eyes of the moon we will waltz around the shield of a clock. Running through sands of time to get away from the crawling morning we will cheat time when we hide under a number. There we will fall in a slumber, filling our hollows, taking the broken parts and connect them into one. We will no longer be damaged, combining every cell until all is well.

With pain subsiding I come out of hiding and let the time catch me bringing me to the present, I no longer resent this world that I hold. Finally I am whole and the prolonged session of slow depression is gone allowing me to feel like I won.

It is nice to write again, it has been a long time. I was away due to work, laziness, holidays abroad. And I had that extra job as Hells personal trainer exe(o) rcising my demons. But that’s over and I have a new outlook on life.

Waiting for the right time to do something means you will probably never do it.

Lost Soul (part7)

Apologies for the delay in writing this part, I’m finally here and ready to shake up your previous stories a little.

Parts 123456

 

The three of us entered the compound, it looked almost like a bunker. In fact, it was fairly similar to the nuclear bunker that my parents showed me videos of that they had to spend few years there when they were young. Yet this one was old abandoned I can’t imagine it housing more than 20 people. Luna held my hand and with Roman gave me a tour of the place to which I paid no attention. All this time my mouth was ajar in surprise so long I haven’t noticed I am parched, my eyes watery and a kaleidoscope of emotions rushed through me at exhausting speed. I might have not seen Luna in 10 years yet she still could feel my emotions as if she was my twin. She told me to sit and offered water which I gulped down faster than desert sand. Flashbacks of the past made me dizzy, I wondered how we ended up separate, why we haven’t met sooner it was ten fucking years. Who is Amruth and if he can still read my mind from a distance? Although it was of least importance at the moment I still wondered If my best friend Luna is in a relationship with my childhood crush.

I regained my composure and started thinking clearly, clearer than ever which was a strange feeling for me Luna interrupted my thoughts “It’s a local plant we add to water, we don’t know what it is but it makes your mind a lot sharper, I’m sure you feel it by now” I just nodded. “Agnes, aren’t you going to say anything? Are you not happy to see us?” asked Roman entering the room again.

“I..I..I am happy, sorry, I’m still in shock, I thought I will never see you again, I was almost killed and then you came. Aliens…friends…code, you mentioned a code to help you return, It’s incomplete I have another page let’s try to combine them and get out of this horrible place. The thing is I just can’t read it” I replied accelerating with each word. “Incomplete? another page? how do you know that? never mind, Show me the page this is mine an let’s have a look” Roman said with excitement and reached for the code to lay out on the table. As he did that my stomach acted like a ball in the pinball machine, the code that Roman presented was completely different from the page I had.

Romans face expression saddened yet his eyes sparked up. “Ahh this brings back some memories although I don’t think it’s part of the code.” he sighed. “What are you talking about? what memories?” was my next question. “You really can’t read it? Don’t you remember when we were little? Your grandfather loved all kinds of encryptions and thought them to us. He always left such notes for us to decode with instructions how to find a hidden stash of sweets our parents don’t know about, how could you forget that?” explained Roman. “I think I start to remember, yes, notes and sweets, yet I don’t remember any encryptions, can you read it?” I asked eagerly “Give me few minutes”

While roman studied the note I caught up a little with Luna, she even brought materials left over in this place that turned out to be sheets of cloth. Without hesitation, I took one and wrapped it around me like a toga to eliminate the constant cold. “I will find you some better clothes later” Luna said. Roman came back to us now with 2 sheets of paper and a thin piece of charcoal he used to write with.

“Fitting outfit Agnes. I decoded the note, it is just like the ones from our childhood, look. The face under the text is the iconic Julius Caesar, we learned about him in school. There are also roman numerals on it, this indicates it is a Caesars cipher, To solve it you need to arrange the alphabet in a circle, that numeral is your key which is 7, now take every single letter and substitute it with a letter 7 positions further. Here is the translation.” explained Roman giving me another page.

i am human. i am here for thirteen years trying to make
contact with my family. i have shelter food
technology and knowledge. even found a typing machine.
if you are still sane i would like to meet and work
together. there is a way out. in two days i will leave a
trail of red stones to meet at down i mean no harm. ha la
lau are learning our language thus the code.

I have read it and almost fainted, that plant sure makes your mind sharper because I now found dots that could be connected I wish I have seen before. I started to backtrack the events to find odd things. Amruth, he could not read the note because it was a code and not English, he was nice to me since he hoped I will teach him. The next part scared me, his throat it was clearly visible and blue the man who grabbed me in front of my shelter and told me to be quiet had a long beard, that man spoke aloud, only now I realized that Amruth only used telepathy. Was the bearded man trying to hide us from Amruth? did he use his shaman skills to make me not notice the switch of the person who led me away? The codemaker is here for 13 years. Thirteen years ago I was told my grandfather died in an accident, then there are the last words of my mother before I woke up here, ‘Find your gra…’

Are all these things be connected? could my grandfather be here somewhere? or is it just apophenia?

 

 

 

 

Here is a quote I came across that struck home and think everyone should read, especially when you struggle to make time for the things you want the most:

“And despite this inexorable fight, promise me you will never lose faith in yourself, that you’ll never cease from walking, for there’s no need to run.” -A.R

Lost Soul (Part 6)

Long awaited part 6 is here, by Jokerswild

Parts: 12345

BRAIN FREEZE

Agnes couldn’t take her eyes off of Amruth, she wasn’t sure if she could trust him. She didn’t know him, he could have been part of the Halalau for all she knew, he was blue and so were they. This Tarzan man child picks her up with one hand and carries her underground and what does she do? She cries and hands over the coded paper that could possibly get her home. “Good going” Agnes mumbled to herself, Amruth looked up from the paper and smiled. “You know I can hear your thoughts. I’m not a man child or a Halalau.” “It’s not nice to read people’s thoughts without their permission” Agnes said. “Reading is fundamental. Isn’t that what they say on your planet?” Amruth replied with a smile.

“So if you’re not Halalau, why are you blue?” Agnes asked. She threw her hands in the air, “I’m not a…

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Broken Retrospective

It was a day just like any other, or night? No, it was definitely an evening I am sure of that. I was having a barbecue with my girl in the back garden of the house. After some food and a beer, the mellow music in the background swayed us to spill the memories of the past. We reminiscing about collective moments and things we never told each other, the time flew by and the calm night sky was covered by a warm blanket of stars which of some fell to their doom leaving a trail for the swift eyes to follow. Gazing the tiny shimmers took us what felt like an eternity, yet an eternity you are willing to endure just for the few precious moments. More time passed and now the warm blankets were covering our bodies as well.

Before we realized we couldn’t think of more wishes for every star that has fallen so we were repeating the wishes by now, not that it matters as I always have one wish every time I see a shooting star. Then we noticed one of the shooting stars burn brighter and growing larger, clearly it was heading directly our way.

“What is that?” asked my girlfriend.

“I don’t know, an asteroid” I laughed.

“Don’t say that, wait, is it green?” she replied

“What the hell? it is glowing green, why is it not burning out yet?”

“Wish I knew, shit it hurts my eyes, I’ll try to take a picture” she quickly exclaimed with audible pain in her voice, she turned her head to locate her phone, and then something happened that she was lucky to miss.

The green light from the orb pulsed a bit brighter than it already was, this thing pulsed and I went numb, no, not numb, paralysed. Next was the pain, deep and sharp as if someone pushed a dozen of drills into my head at the same time. I was sitting there as if on a chair of tortures and yet the whole world around me was oblivious to my pain. The green light pulsed again and a sound came that startled my already freaked out mind. Imagine if some kind of hellish machine could roar and put that on full blast in your ears and you should be close to what I heard. Then the pain for a split second intensified even more just to immediately ease up. To my surprise, my memories started emerging and flashing in front of me.

I remembered talking to my friend Greg at work last week, he said ‘Just get it done so we can go home’. I saw parents holding hands, children playing in the schoolyard, my only friend in school grabbing me from behind ‘Where were you!’. I saw clips of documentaries I watched, animals, technology, wars, movies, extracts from books. I saw my friend Lucy saying ‘Yes!’ after I asked her to go to prom with me.

Why am I remembering it all? what is going on why can’t I fucking move? Another roar, the pain rose and so did the speed of flashing memories. Is that green thing going through my memories?

Lucy ‘Yes!’, what the f… I don’t know if I forced my mind or voice to push out ‘Hello can you talk?’ what am I doing I thought, it’s just a light. Roar and my teacher saying ‘Hello‘ to class then Lucy ‘Yes!’. I froze even though I seemed to be in some kind of limbo already. What do you want? was the next question I produced in my mind but there was no voice in my head now, I just felt immense hunger despite I just ate, or is that what this intruder of my mind is feeling. ‘Are you hungry?’ I thought, Lucy ‘Yes!’ ‘

‘What do you eat?’ it was a rapid fire of images, lightning strikes, volcanos exploding, atomic bombs going off, various projectiles hitting the target. Then another roar and more images, stars imploding, planets whithering like plants, strange fires and explosions, but I have never seen these thing meaning these must be the memories of the orb. I was screaming in my head ‘Leave me the fuck alone!’ but I was only struck by a swift ‘NO!‘ of my mother when she scolded me as a child. ‘What do you want from me?’ I knew it want’s energy and lots of it but I didn’t know what I have to do with it, I just saw a map then a compass and video a plant sprouting to life thanks to the sun. Shit the sun, is that what it wants? but would it no see it coming here? I could only hope this thing didn’t catch that thought but I was wrong. A vision of the sun burning right in front of me was presented, then my mother but with Lucys voice saying ‘YES!’

Not knowing what it is I took a gamble and presumed it has completely missed our sun so I asked ‘How do you travel’ then I saw tens of planets we don’t learn about in school, one planet than a blink and another then blink and another. Thus I presumed it just teleports. The exploding surface of the sun and my friend ‘Where?’ Stop I am not gonna tell you shouting in my thoughts. ‘Where?!’ it kept repeating it over and over but then the voiced and faces started to mix it was my mother, teacher, friends all asking where in the same demanding tone. I resisted as much as I could not to think of the solar system and that’s when it stopped asking the single question and the drilling pain came back like a kick to the face. Flashes of school classes and tv documentaries until a clear layout of our solar system was in front of me and the pain stopped and one last memory surfaced that was equally painful of whom which I forgot about until now, it was my father saying ‘You are a pathetic fool.’

The green orb shot off and the pain subsided, I let out a gasp of exhaustion and pain. My girlfriend finally grabbed the camera and turned back to where the light was.

“Wha.. where is it? I only turned for two seconds. And why are you so pale all of a sudden?”

My memories and will are broken, I remember my past but the places and faces are all wrong, twisted. I remeber talking with my mother at work last week and my friend scolding me when I was a child, but I know he is younger than me damn it. Yet what’s worse I am worried that this night might be the longest the earth has seen and that it might be my fault too.

. .